The Department of Unnecessary Scaremongering and Public Panic today issued a warning about a new strain of Weasel Flu discovered on a remote island in the Pacific, which 'could spread to the rest of the World'.
The public is being advised to stay indoors, try not to breathe, and keep watching BBC News 24 for up to the minute advice on what to do. The Daily Quail has called for all migrant Weasels to be culled immediately to prevent the disease taking hold in Britain.
Symptoms of this deadly new disease include an inability to take anything seriously, and greatly increased levels of cynicism regarding anything overhyped by the media in a desperate bid to increase sales.
The public is being advised to stay indoors, try not to breathe, and keep watching BBC News 24 for up to the minute advice on what to do. The Daily Quail has called for all migrant Weasels to be culled immediately to prevent the disease taking hold in Britain.
Symptoms of this deadly new disease include an inability to take anything seriously, and greatly increased levels of cynicism regarding anything overhyped by the media in a desperate bid to increase sales.
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